After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Last time i carry you out of a forest
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
