I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize