She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
