we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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