if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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