Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
