Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
