we have pet lesbian snakes
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
