Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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