It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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