Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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