then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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