Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I am midnight drunk by noon
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
