I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
