I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
