Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
