Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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