Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
