Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
