Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
