come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
