OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
