You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
