Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
