I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
