he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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