Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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