But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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