See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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