you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
