he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
