Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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