Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
