Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
