ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm too high and old for this...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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