Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
