If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
