booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
