At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Dick very happy bro
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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