Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Randomize
