Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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