My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
