is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
