Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
