Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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