I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
