So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
They took my balls.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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