I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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