But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
