your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
So many bounce houses so little time
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Randomize
